10 Ways to Win at Work

Over 30 years, I’ve worked 12 different jobs in 9 cities for 7 media companies, 2 nonprofits and 1 PR agency. Along the way, I’ve accumulated lots of experience in a new job. Mostly I’ve been successful, but I’ve also struggled and sometimes failed in a new job.

Even at this stage of my career, I constantly remind myself of what I’ve learned the hard way. I carry these reminders — about 150 of them — around in a hardbound notebook. They come from consultants, coaches and great bosses who wanted to help me succeed.

In recognition of National Boss’ Day , I share my top 10 ways to win at work.

1. “Get in and Fit In.”

Your first assignment begins the first day on any new job. Your task is to “get in and fit in.” Every organization has a unique culture, different norms and standard ways of doing work. Before you set up your task list, fill your calendar or organize your desk, you need to show your boss that you can fit in. There will be plenty of time to stand out or shake things up. The best hires first prove they are invaluable by making it seem like they’ve always been there, adding value.

2. “Build relationships before making transactions.”

A good relationship with your new boss is essential. But so are relationships with everyone you encounter — up, down and across the organization. Good relationships open doors, grease the wheels, build bridges and mend fences. Need help on a project? Support from IT? Snacks from the office manager? Cooperation from co-workers? Good relationships are the currency of every cubicle and are required for positive transactions in the office.

3. “Build or strengthen a connection, every day.”

So how do you build strong relationships if you’re new on the job? Don’t back slap, glad hand or fake smile. Just create authentic connections. Recognize that your co-workers are three-dimensional people who have dogs, children, elderly parents, sick spouses, broken water pipes, hobbies, favorite Netflix shows, and bills all waiting for them at home. People bring their whole selves to work. You can’t only deal with the fraction that is focused on work. You need to chat, commiserate, share with and speak to the people you work with every day, about something other than just work.

4. “Take the next small step in front of you.”

When starting a new job, your first inclination is to show folks that you’re up for the job. You want to rack up a few big wins and show everyone you’re a superstar. But taking on too much too soon is an easy way to become quickly overwhelmed. It can also make you look desperate for attention and approval. Instead, focus on successfully finishing several small projects or tasks. If you are assured of your own abilities, you’ll have plenty of chances to shine. But you’ll have fewer chances if you start out by stumbling.

5. “Focus on your strengths, but admit your weaknesses.”

No one likes to admit they’re not good at something or that they have gaps in their knowledge. So new hires sometimes try to fake it until they make it. Sooner or later, they’re found out. If you have an area of growth, focus your energies and everyone’s attention on your strengths. Then admit your weak spots. It’s better to tell the boss and your co-workers about them first — and ask for help — before people discover them on their own.

6. “Practice the person you want to be or the skill you need to master.”

While you are leaning into your strengths, try practicing those skills that you wish you were better at. Perhaps it’s a skill that you need to develop to get ahead, like public speaking. Or maybe it’s something that’s holding you back, like your lack of attention to detail. Whatever it is, look for opportunities to practice it. It also doesn’t hurt to find someone you trust who you can turn to for feedback and coaching.

7. “Don’t waste mental energy on the things or people you can’t control.”

There’s always going to be something or someone that makes your new job challenging. If you don’t have the power to fix the thing or the authority to deal with the person, don’t waste your time and energy. Concentrate on doing your best and being your best at work. Ultimately things may change on their own or you’ll find a way to diplomatically create the conditions for change.

8. “Everyone wants to do a good job and believes they can under the right conditions.”

You know that you can succeed in a new job if you’re given the right resources, amount of time and support. Guess what? So, does everyone around you — even the people who might seem to be producing less, giving less or caring less. Chances are they, they feel they can’t succeed because something is in their way. Instead of judging them, see if you can help them. One day you might be the person who needs that extra support to turn things around.

9. “What other people say or do is about them, how you respond is about you.”

What about work jerk, the know-it-all or the blame-layer? There is no denying that there are people in the workplace who might not be working as hard on improving themselves as you may be working on yourself. Intentionally or not, they may say or do things that irritate or create hard feelings. But there’s only one person you can control in the workplace — yourself. (see #7). If someone says or does something that you feel is unfair, unproductive, or unwarranted, don’t respond in kind. Their words or actions will tell you what kind of person they are or are trying to be. Your response should demonstrate to them and to all who observe what kind of person you are or want to be.

10. “Put your best self out there and others will reciprocate”

100% of people you encounter at work are honest, accountable, ethical, kind, friendly, compassionate and collaborative — 99.9% of the time. They have bad days, make mistakes, misspeak, or act in ways they wish they could take back. So, do you. But if you put your best self out there, others will generally reciprocate by being their best selves every day — or at least 99.9% of the time.